Will Jason finally take home a prize for his empty Howdie sack?! Find out as we conclude the 3rd "Annual" Howdie Awards with banger categories like Best Paul Childhood Story, Best Jason Rant, Best Second Opinion Song, and Best Guest Appearance. Plus, the Howdie Academy proudly awards a special Lifetime Achievement Howdie for Best Nerd in the Audience. And remember, make sure to view the photo of young Paul kissing his mom at www.paulscheer.com/pervert
Will Jason finally take home a prize for his empty Howdie sack?! Find out as we conclude the 3rd "Annual" Howdie Awards with banger categories like Best Paul Childhood Story, Best Jason Rant, Best Second Opinion Song, and Best Guest Appearance. Plus, the Howdie Academy proudly awards a special Lifetime Achievement Howdie for Best Nerd in the Audience. And remember, make sure to view the photo of young Paul kissing his mom at www.paulscheer.com/pervert
[00:00:00] Scott Sonne: Welcome back to the third How Did This Get Made Howdie Awards where we'll be continuing our celebration of the finest moments of the last nine years of the, How Did This Get Made podcast. If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing? This isn't like Surf 2, you know that movie we covered that didn't actually have a part one. So make sure you've heard part one and then go ahead and listen to my good friend, Tall John Scheer, take it away.
[00:00:37] Paul Scheer: Hello people of Earth and welcome back to part two of the Howdie Awards. We are just getting started. Let's get into it right now with our next category.
[00:00:46] Scott Sonne: Best Subject of a Jason Rant. And the nominees are Jessica St. Clair's Faberge Eggs from episode 181 Free Jack.
[00:00:57] Jason Mantzoukas: Why have we decided that faberge eggs are a, the, the universal symbol of something priceless?
[00:01:04] Jessica St. Clair: I think my, my relatives in South Philly had a couple of those faberge eggs.
[00:01:10] Paul Scheer: What?
[00:01:10] Jason Mantzoukas: No.
[00:01:11] Jessica St. Clair: Yes. Right.
[00:01:12] Jason Mantzoukas: No, no, no.
[00:01:13] June Diane Raphael: Wow.
[00:01:13] Jessica St. Clair: With like the Limoges, you know, like.
[00:01:15] Jason Mantzoukas: They did not.
[00:01:15] Jessica St. Clair: Like the shepherd girl and then.
[00:01:17] Jason Mantzoukas: With a shepherd girl? No, they had like Lladro figurines.
[00:01:21] Jessica St. Clair: Yaros. That's what, that, isn't that the same as a faberge egg? What are you, you're acting like you've seen one. Where have you seen a faberge egg?
[00:01:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Where?
[00:01:30] Jessica St. Clair: Your family?
[00:01:31] Jason Mantzoukas: Never.
[00:01:31] Jessica St. Clair: Imported them from Greece?
[00:01:33] Jason Mantzoukas: No family has, nobody has faberge eggs.
[00:01:35] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:01:35] Jason Mantzoukas: Have you lost your mind? You are saying like, oh, my family had faberge eggs and humel figurines. Same. Are you insane? That is categorically impossible. Faberge eggs are something.
[00:01:48] Jessica St. Clair: Google it, Paul.
[00:01:49] Paul Scheer: I did.
[00:01:50] Jessica St. Clair: How fucking expensive is a faberg egg?
[00:01:52] Paul Scheer: Were made between 1885 and 1917.
[00:01:56] Jessica St. Clair: Okay.
[00:01:56] Paul Scheer: They were made for, uh, the Russian czars, Alexander ii, Nicholas II as Easter gifts for their wives. And mothers.
[00:02:04] Jason Mantzoukas: How many of them are in South Philly?
[00:02:08] Paul Scheer: They.
[00:02:09] Jason Mantzoukas: Just a quick count. How many are currently.
[00:02:13] Jessica St. Clair: You dunno where I come from?
[00:02:14] Jason Mantzoukas: Philly.
[00:02:14] Paul Scheer: I'll tell you this. So there are 65 known faberge eggs.
[00:02:19] Jessica St. Clair: Okay, I get it.
[00:02:19] Jason Mantzoukas: Okay.
[00:02:21] Jessica St. Clair: One of them is in my grandmother's house.
[00:02:22] Paul Scheer: Only 57 have survived to the present day.
[00:02:25] Jason Mantzoukas: Okay.
[00:02:25] Paul Scheer: 10 are displayed in the Kremlin.
[00:02:27] Jessica St. Clair: Okay. Okay.
[00:02:29] Jason Mantzoukas: So that leaves how many? That leaves some 40 odd.
[00:02:32] Jessica St. Clair: I'm so wrong.
[00:02:33] Jason Mantzoukas: So, oh, yes. You are so wrong.
[00:02:34] Jessica St. Clair: I'm, I'm so sorry.
[00:02:35] Jason Mantzoukas: You're incredibly wrong. I'm so, you are outrageously wrong.
[00:02:40] Paul Scheer: Wait a second, wait a second.
[00:02:41] Jason Mantzoukas: You just said on the podcast, I think my family in South Philly has a couple, a couple of faberge eggs at their home in South Philly. Let me just say something. Yins don't have any faberge eggs in South Philly.
[00:03:03] Scott Sonne: The Stripster Club Strip Club from episode 193, Blues Brothers 2000.
[00:03:10] Paul Scheer: So I'm passing to Jason. Um, I'm passing to Jason, the logo of the club, which is in Neon. It says Stripster. June has fallen out of her seat.
[00:03:23] Jason Mantzoukas: No, that's it. Black it out. We're going home. Thank you, Chicago. This has been great. The show is over. This series is over. It's a wrap on How Did This Get Made? You did it, Aykroyd, you broke the show. Congratulations. Your dream came true. Holy shit. Stripster Club?
[00:03:53] Paul Scheer: Stripster.
[00:03:54] Jason Mantzoukas: What world are we living in? That's not cool. What? And like my good friend Paul says, and no titties? You are gonna call it a strip or club and you're not even gonna get, let scribbles get an eyeball on some titties? Come on, Aykroyd.
[00:04:14] Paul Scheer: If I'm not getting hard 2000 times, then why am I seeing Blues Brothers 2000?
[00:04:18] Jason Mantzoukas: Here I get, who am I? Who am I? Read, read, read. Stripster? Nope. Not doing it. Jim Belushi. What? Stripster Club. Fuck you, movie.
[00:04:33] Scott Sonne: The audience in Detroit complaining about the Oogieloves from episode 306. The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure.
[00:04:42] Audience Member: I'm Dave Oogielove.
[00:04:43] Paul Scheer: Great. Dave, what's your question?
[00:04:45] Audience Member: I just wanna know if you knew that Real Steel was filmed here.
[00:04:48] Paul Scheer: Real Steel, the Hugh Jackman movie? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:04:51] Audience Member: Was that an option?
[00:04:53] Paul Scheer: No.
[00:04:55] Jason Mantzoukas: What's his name?
[00:04:55] Paul Scheer: This was the only option.
[00:04:56] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait, what's his name? What's your name? Dave?
[00:04:58] Audience Member: Dave.
[00:04:59] Jason Mantzoukas: Dave. Fuck you. We watched Oogielove. You watched Oogieloves. We made you watch it. Nothing else was considered. Oogieloves. And if we come back to Detroit, Oogieloves two. Put your phone down, put your phone down.
[00:05:14] Paul Scheer: What I love is that people think that we didn't know there are other choices.
[00:05:18] Jason Mantzoukas: Here's the guarantee. Here's my promise to you. I hated this movie. I hated every goddamn second I suffered through this movie. If we come back to this town, we're gonna watch every goddamn sequel of these movies just because you whined about it. Detroit toughen up. You're supposed to be strong, Detroit. Bring it.
[00:05:42] Paul Scheer: Ooh. Now I remember. The audience in Detroit. They were so mad. People were telling me in Detroit, they were like, I want a refund. I would've never have come to this show, if I, and this is the funny thing about it, it's not as if we are doing, you know, this week on the show, you know, One Battle after Another. Sinners. And then we were like, oh, but Detroit we'll do Oogieloves, like they act as if we have shocked them, uh, with the choice, like it's bad?
[00:06:12] Jason Mantzoukas: Why did we get such a bad one?
[00:06:14] Paul Scheer: To this day. To this day, I have not yet, the 70, uh, one episodes or whatever it is later, have not seen a reaction like Detroit.
[00:06:22] Jason Mantzoukas: If you are complaining about the bad movie that you've been forced to watch for this show, just please remind yourself. You don't need to watch it.
[00:06:31] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:06:31] Jason Mantzoukas: You don't need to listen to this.
[00:06:33] June Diane Raphael: No.
[00:06:33] Jason Mantzoukas: You can unsubscribe.
[00:06:34] Paul Scheer: Well, you know, why don't you subscribe, but then, you know, following us does help the whole thing.
[00:06:39] Jason Mantzoukas: Sorry, sorry. You know, you can subscribe someone else.
[00:06:43] Paul Scheer: Yeah, yeah. That's right. Wait. Anyway, uh, this is an award that I've been, you know, and look, it's been means a lot to me. Uh, obviously.
[00:06:50] June Diane Raphael: Well, this is definitely.
[00:06:50] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean it means a lot to you? I think that if I'm not, if I've not misunderstood this.
[00:06:56] Paul Scheer: Mm-hmm.
[00:06:56] Jason Mantzoukas: I can't lose.
[00:06:58] Paul Scheer: This, this award. Well, we'll see. Well, I mean, look, you're right. Uh, you know, you, you came in here, didn't think you were gonna win an award. So let, let's see.
[00:07:04] Jason Mantzoukas: Because this is a Jason Rant. So.
[00:07:06] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:07:06] Jason Mantzoukas: This is taylor made for me.
[00:07:08] Paul Scheer: Let's see. The Howdie for Best Subject of a Jason Rant goes to Jessica St. Clair's Faberge Eggs from episode 181, Free Jack. Wow.
[00:07:22] Jason Mantzoukas: But wait.
[00:07:22] Paul Scheer: Congratulations, Jessica.
[00:07:24] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait. No, Jessica gets it?
[00:07:25] June Diane Raphael: No, that's not for Jessica.
[00:07:26] Paul Scheer: Well, I mean, oh.
[00:07:27] Jason Mantzoukas: No.
[00:07:28] Paul Scheer: Well, yeah. Jessica, I'm so sorry. Jessica, we're. Scott. That's how it's supposed to go to Jessica, right?
[00:07:32] Scott Sonne: Correct.
[00:07:33] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, no. Well wait a minute.
[00:07:34] Scott Sonne: Well, it goes to her eggs. Her eggs.
[00:07:36] Paul Scheer: Yeah. Don't, yeah, don't.
[00:07:36] Jason Mantzoukas: Her eggs? I don't think we should be talking about St. Clair's eggs on the podcast like this. This is like, very personal.
[00:07:43] Paul Scheer: But you know, Jessica's got it. And let's not take anything away from Jess. We love jess.
[00:07:46] Jason Mantzoukas: I think. Okay. But that is bullshit because you're telling me.
[00:07:48] June Diane Raphael: Listen, it is hard. This one. This one I can, I know is a hard loss for you. But actually as I sit here and think about it, it really should go to Jessica's eggs.
[00:07:58] Paul Scheer: Thank you.
[00:07:58] Jason Mantzoukas: But my rants are my thing. My rants are, I'm all, yeah.
[00:08:01] June Diane Raphael: But if you have nothing to rant.
[00:08:03] Jason Mantzoukas: My rant.
[00:08:03] June Diane Raphael: I know, but if you have nothing to rant about.
[00:08:06] Jason Mantzoukas: Okay. I, you know what, I see what's happening. Okay. I, the writing's on the wall. Okay. The fix is in. Okay.
[00:08:12] June Diane Raphael: No.
[00:08:12] Jason Mantzoukas: No, I get it.
[00:08:13] June Diane Raphael: No, no.
[00:08:13] Jason Mantzoukas: You know what? I'm just gonna fold my sack up and I'm gonna put it over here because I know nothing's going in this sack.
[00:08:20] June Diane Raphael: That's a tiny sack.
[00:08:21] Paul Scheer: I mean, look.
[00:08:22] Jason Mantzoukas: It is, it's very, it's, it's a stuffed sack. It's a tom bin, soft StuffSack. Boy, I'd love it if Tom Bin made Howdie sacks.
[00:08:28] June Diane Raphael: Hey Jason.
[00:08:28] Paul Scheer: I love it.
[00:08:28] June Diane Raphael: Hey, Jason.
[00:08:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Yes?
[00:08:29] June Diane Raphael: I do think it would be nice if maybe you talked to Jessica.
[00:08:32] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh God. Do I have to?
[00:08:33] June Diane Raphael: And, and, and The Howdie spent a little time in her place and a little time in your place.
[00:08:38] Paul Scheer: You know what?
[00:08:39] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, shared cust? Okay.
[00:08:40] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:08:40] Paul Scheer: Jason, this, this is maybe for you. New rule.
[00:08:43] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh.
[00:08:43] Paul Scheer: Jason. Right, that's what you always do whenever do rant.
[00:08:46] Jason Mantzoukas: Is this is this club random?
[00:08:47] Paul Scheer: We, well, this is, I thought that's that, that the way you do it, you, whenever you get into a rant, you go, new rule, right?
[00:08:52] Jason Mantzoukas: No, I, that's Bill Maher.
[00:08:53] Paul Scheer: Oh, I thought that was you.
[00:08:55] Jason Mantzoukas: I'm not, oh, wow. This is, this is humbling.
[00:08:58] Paul Scheer: New rule. Next year Jason will get a Howdie. Uh, anyway.
[00:09:03] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah, well, but I mean, that next year is probably in nine years.
[00:09:06] Paul Scheer: There could be another Howdie award show in a week or eight years. We don't know the schedule of it.
[00:09:12] June Diane Raphael: I think that's fun is to just like, you don't, because we don't know when the award show will happen.
[00:09:19] Paul Scheer: You gotta keep that alive.
[00:09:20] June Diane Raphael: We actually can't really pander.
[00:09:21] Jason Mantzoukas: It. It's That's true.
[00:09:23] June Diane Raphael: Know what I mean?
[00:09:23] Jason Mantzoukas: You gotta be engaged all the time.
[00:09:24] June Diane Raphael: You know that all the Oscar movies are coming out in December. Like for us, it's just like, we gotta be ready whenever, whenever.
[00:09:30] Jason Mantzoukas: At the drop of a hat.
[00:09:32] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:09:32] Jason Mantzoukas: At the drop of a Dead Fred. Um, we might be called upon to Howdie.
[00:09:38] Paul Scheer: Well, here's the thing. You know, we've been giving out a lot of awards. I've certainly taken my fair share. I'm like The Studio here and I'm gonna tell you that, uh, tonight, uh, we're not just taking home awards for ourselves. We're also, uh, opening it to everyone. And our next award is not an award necessarily, but um, a lifetime achievement.
[00:09:59] Scott Sonne: Lifetime achievement for Best Nerd in the Audience.
[00:10:04] Paul Scheer: That's right. We wanna honor one of our favorite nerds ever. There's been a lot of audience nerds who have stood out over the years. We have Pete, the S man, Tim from Largo, Ben Cannon, Leah from Chicago. Jafar, that's just to name a few. Uh, I love, I love our, our ultimate fans, the ones who come in costumes, the ones who come with a notepad. The ones, remember that guy for the Blues Brothers episode who came with a, a, a binder, a full binder?
[00:10:32] Jason Mantzoukas: It's amazing to me like people come in, costumes, people come, do all sorts of things, but the people who've done their own incredible research and come prepared to, to, to give us the information that we're looking for. Uh, I feel like Tim is always good for that at Largo.
[00:10:49] Paul Scheer: Tim might have been, I actually have to say is the best nerd in the sense that he then never makes it about himself. Tim is like under the radar.
[00:10:57] Jason Mantzoukas: Yes.
[00:10:57] Paul Scheer: Like in this category, I think.
[00:10:59] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:10:59] Jason Mantzoukas: I agree.
[00:10:59] June Diane Raphael: Tim, I feel like Tim shares, like, despite himself, like he, it's not, you know, he's just trying to get information out, but he, he takes no pleasure in the spotlight.
[00:11:10] Jason Mantzoukas: No, not at all. The only spotlight he seeks is, is just to attack, um, James Acaster.
[00:11:16] Paul Scheer: Yes. Yes.
[00:11:17] June Diane Raphael: Oh my God. I forgot about that.
[00:11:19] Paul Scheer: Now, do you, you were saying that James Acaster did stumble upon that shirt that we made, uh, James Projector.
[00:11:26] Jason Mantzoukas: He did text me and say, what is this?
[00:11:28] Paul Scheer: Uh, did not realize.
[00:11:30] Jason Mantzoukas: That James Projector shirt.
[00:11:32] Paul Scheer: Did not realize that we, uh, that we would actually make the shirt that we did say we were gonna make in the show.
[00:11:37] June Diane Raphael: Oh my god, that was sweet.
[00:11:40] Paul Scheer: Um, by the way, speaking of shirts, uh, we have re-released our first two shirts are a Ridiculous Cage shirt and our What's its Mission shirts, you can get them in the Tee Public store. Um, alright, so without any further ado though, I, I, I think that there is one, one nerd who rose to legendary status. He showed up in Philadelphia and knew something about Dungeons and Dragons. Knew everything about Dungeons and Dragons.
[00:12:05] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah. Knew everything.
[00:12:06] Paul Scheer: And we gave him the mic. He did not abuse that power. He wielded it gently and justly like no other audience member ever did before. Here, take a listen.
[00:12:17] I am letting Morgan hold the mic because I trust a Dm. I trust a Dungeons and Dragons person with the mic. They understand their role.
[00:12:29] Jason Mantzoukas: This is respect. This is respect.
[00:12:31] Paul Scheer: And now let me ask you one more question. This is probably the the nerdiest question I'll have. Talk to me about dragons.
[00:12:37] Morgan: Yeah, so this movie definitely went from more of like a Game of Thrones feel to their dragons. But like in Dungeons and Dragons, they're dragons are like intelligent creatures. They're very like proud and vain and they have like treasure hoards. And some of them are evil and some of them are good. And for some reason the, uh, good ones are named after Crayons in the box. And the, uh, sorry, the, the bad ones are crayons in the box and the good ones are metallic
[00:13:01] June Diane Raphael: Red.
[00:13:01] Morgan: Yeah.
[00:13:01] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh wow.
[00:13:01] June Diane Raphael: And gold. Okay, so, so. Okay. This is so helpful.
[00:13:05] Jason Mantzoukas: Killing it Morgan.
[00:13:05] June Diane Raphael: This is so helpful. Now can I ask? I'm just gonna be, yeah, it's just like. [Audience chants "Morgan"]
[00:13:16] Jason Mantzoukas: We didn't prop this chant. This is an organic chant.
[00:13:22] Paul Scheer: You know what, you could take out your phones and take a picture of Morgan.
[00:13:25] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah.
[00:13:25] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:13:27] Jason Mantzoukas: Out of curiosity, Morgan. As a D and D, I'm assuming fan since childhood?
[00:13:34] Morgan: Pretty much.
[00:13:35] June Diane Raphael: Pretty much.
[00:13:35] Jason Mantzoukas: Did. Was there, did you have feelings on this specific movie when it came out?
[00:13:39] June Diane Raphael: Great question, Jason.
[00:13:40] Jason Mantzoukas: Thank you, June.
[00:13:43] June Diane Raphael: Yeah. Were you, excited about it?
[00:13:45] Jason Mantzoukas: I pride myself on my questions.
[00:13:45] June Diane Raphael: Yeah. That was a great question.
[00:13:46] Jason Mantzoukas: I'm vain like a dragon.
[00:13:50] Paul Scheer: Oh, Magenta Mantzoukas
[00:13:52] Jason Mantzoukas: Ooh. With my hoard of treasure and gold like Smaug.
[00:13:59] Morgan: Smog is actually a great example of like what.
[00:14:02] Jason Mantzoukas: Go to hell, Morgan!
[00:14:14] Morgan: Was just gonna say smog is a great example of like what D and D dragons are actually like.
[00:14:20] Paul Scheer: Yes.
[00:14:21] Morgan: I did not see this movie as a child, actually, probably because my parents shielded me from it. Um, I wasn't even aware until it was announced for this, that this, this was a movie.
[00:14:31] Paul Scheer: Oh, wow. Okay. There we go.
[00:14:33] Jason Mantzoukas: And how did you feel about it, just in general? Do you have thoughts?
[00:14:35] Morgan: It was so bad.
[00:14:36] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah. Morgan gets it. The rest of you fucking idiots don't.
[00:14:42] Morgan: I hated it.
[00:14:43] June Diane Raphael: Yeah. So, okay. And then I, I, we'll let you go. I think. Or maybe have to pull up another chair.
[00:14:49] Jason Mantzoukas: We have a fourth chair?
[00:14:52] June Diane Raphael: But, but, um, when you are a player in the game, can, like, could I sign, like could I join as a dragon or I'd be a thief, or I'd be an elf?
[00:15:03] Morgan: You could join as a dragon at certain tables.
[00:15:10] June Diane Raphael: Got it. You've said enough.
[00:15:12] Jason Mantzoukas: It's not traditional.
[00:15:13] June Diane Raphael: I'm not welcome everywhere.
[00:15:14] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah.
[00:15:14] Morgan: It's, it's not a default assumption that you can do that. But there.
[00:15:19] Jason Mantzoukas: Let me say this. If you're inviting me to play your D and D game, I better be able to be a goddamn dragon.
[00:15:24] Morgan: You. If you wanna play in my D and D game, you can be a goddamn dragon.
[00:15:27] Jason Mantzoukas: I'm in.
[00:15:28] Paul Scheer: Wow.
[00:15:28] June Diane Raphael: Wow. I don't think I can though.
[00:15:30] Jason Mantzoukas: Here's what I'm gonna say. I wanna let Morgan get back to his seat. Where is your seat, Morgan? Are you far away? Okay. Can we let Morgan take the mic with him but kill the sound in case we need him to pipe up? He can stay at his chair.
[00:15:45] Paul Scheer: Yeah. Alright.
[00:15:45] Jason Mantzoukas: Great.
[00:15:45] Paul Scheer: Take the mic. You can do it.
[00:15:47] June Diane Raphael: Wow. Okay. Thank you Morgan.
[00:15:49] Jason Mantzoukas: Give it up for Morgan! Philadelphia hero.
[00:15:55] Paul Scheer: And that's why our Howdie for best nerd in the audience goes to the one, the only Morgan from episode 335, Dungeons and Dragons. And here is Morgan accepting this prestigious award.
[00:16:07] Morgan: Uh, I actually don't appreciate being called a nerd.
[00:16:09] No.
[00:16:10] It's like, nah. I totally do. It makes me so happy when a fellow nerd is pulled from the audience and called a Morgan. I just wanna thank Paul, Jason, June, Scott, and all my fellow Philly Freaks who let me be a part of that show. It was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me or will ever happen to me. And I'm coming to terms with that, I promise also, Jason, come play your magenta dragon at my table, coward.
[00:16:37] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh.
[00:16:37] Paul Scheer: Wow.
[00:16:38] Jason Mantzoukas: Okay. Uh, I will.
[00:16:41] Paul Scheer: Wow that. And he just ended on that. That was a real mic throw down. Love, love.
[00:16:45] Jason Mantzoukas: Real challenge.
[00:16:46] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:16:47] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, look, he's looking like right down.
[00:16:49] June Diane Raphael: I wasn't expecting that kind of acceptance speech.
[00:16:50] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah.
[00:16:51] June Diane Raphael: So it's interesting to see what people do.
[00:16:53] Paul Scheer: Oh, this is nice.
[00:16:54] June Diane Raphael: These big moments.
[00:16:55] Paul Scheer: Do you see this? I I, and then I just got this note passed from Scott here, uh, that on behalf of Morgan, he couldn't be here. I will take, uh, the Morgan's award.
[00:17:03] Jason Mantzoukas: Whoa, see. No, no, no. Don't. You don't have to.
[00:17:06] Paul Scheer: Ill take it. I'll take.
[00:17:07] Jason Mantzoukas: End his thing. He addressed me.
[00:17:09] Paul Scheer: Yeah. Well, yeah, but I'm gonna take it right now for him. Uh uh,
[00:17:11] June Diane Raphael: I don't know if you got room in the sack anymore.
[00:17:12] Paul Scheer: I got room in the sack.
[00:17:14] Jason Mantzoukas: I mean, if anything s Scott should send it to Morgan.
[00:17:17] Paul Scheer: Uh, we'll figure that I.
[00:17:19] June Diane Raphael: Again, it's about, to be in Philadelphia anytime soon.
[00:17:22] Paul Scheer: Uh, we were just there. Come on now. Come on now.
[00:17:27] Jason Mantzoukas: Why do you? I have a quick question.
[00:17:28] Paul Scheer: Uh, yeah.
[00:17:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Why do you already have so much shelf space cleared out in the, in the bookshelves behind you?
[00:17:34] Paul Scheer: Well, I was hoping, I was hoping that we would.
[00:17:36] Jason Mantzoukas: You hoping, or you knew?
[00:17:37] Paul Scheer: I was just, I, I thought look. Look. Okay. Everybody needs to chill the fuck out.
[00:17:44] All right. I'm taking care of these awards, okay? Take care of them.
[00:17:49] Jason Mantzoukas: All right.
[00:17:50] Paul Scheer: All right. I know how to protect these awards better than anyone else. Okay? I know these awards thrive here.
[00:17:57] Scott Sonne: The Third Annual Howdie awards will return after a brief word from our sponsors.
[00:18:10] Paul Scheer: These awards thrive here. Anyway, our next category.
[00:18:15] Scott Sonne: Best Second Opinion Song and the nominees are Ned and Rachel's Riff on One Day More from episode 200 Action Jackson.
[00:18:27] Audience Member: I saw a film on Amazon.
[00:18:32] A most confounding contradiction,
[00:18:36] but its true fans will carry on.
[00:18:40] They hold the truth of their convictions.
[00:18:45] Now the man, the barricade.
[00:18:48] Do you hear what people say?
[00:18:51] Hence the tide of poor of Youi.
[00:18:53] They don't care what critics think.
[00:18:56] They will give a passing grade.
[00:18:58] If you don't like it, then you dog,
[00:19:01] they will give it all five stars.
[00:19:07] Once star more.
[00:19:10] It's simply their opinion. Not the first but second.
[00:19:14] All five star.
[00:19:15] That this movie is fantastic.
[00:19:18] It's just stupid and the race is all, but
[00:19:20] I liked the Meg.
[00:19:22] And the haters and the losers can go off and boil their heads.
[00:19:27] Go ahead and give the Oscar.
[00:19:31] Are you hearing what I said,
[00:19:33] because the only thing that matters now is this
[00:19:37] my second opinion!
[00:19:46] Paul Scheer: Give it up for Ned and Rachel!
[00:19:49] Scott Sonne: Jed's riff on Take On Me from episode 222, Unforgettable.
[00:19:58] Audience Member: Because I've got a lot to say or say in all caps,
[00:20:04] and definitely defend this big hunk of crap.
[00:20:08] Killing makes sense as I write this from my parents' basement,
[00:20:13] Take it from me. I'm not wrong. That is my second opinion.
[00:20:28] Paul Scheer: Thank you, Jed!
[00:20:41] Jason Mantzoukas: Wow. Huge.
[00:20:44] Scott Sonne: Anna's riff on Can't Fight the Moonlight from episode 294, Moonfall.
[00:20:51] Audience Member: The moon's out of orbit, but don't throw a fit.
[00:20:56] Just get in the Lexus, now.
[00:20:59] If you think the moon won't fall,
[00:21:02] well, you'd better call Patrick Wilson, Halle Berry and Fuz Aldrin the cat.
[00:21:12] Mega structures and weird shit like that.
[00:21:16] Need these second opinions stat.
[00:21:20] You can try to resist how bad this movie is,
[00:21:25] but you know, disgraced astronauts can't fight the moon light.
[00:21:30] Deep in the dark. You surrender five stars.
[00:21:34] 'Cause you know, AI tech.
[00:21:37] Oh, fights for the moonlight. Whoa.
[00:21:41] Hope Fletcher Jones is okay.
[00:21:43] Paul Scheer: Oh, amazing. Oh my God. God. Oh my God.
[00:21:48] Jason Mantzoukas: That's how it's done.
[00:21:49] Paul Scheer: My god.
[00:21:51] Jason Mantzoukas: That's how it's done.
[00:21:54] Paul Scheer: We have not. Standing ovation. Oh my gosh. What's your name? Uh, what's your name?
[00:22:00] Audience Member: I'm Anna.
[00:22:01] Paul Scheer: Anna, thank you, Anna.
[00:22:05] Scott Sonne: Mark and Connor's riff on LMFAO's Shots from episode 320 Bats.
[00:22:12] Audience Member: So, uh, I'm mark.
[00:22:14] Connor.
[00:22:14] Paul Scheer: And now it's time for second opinions.
[00:22:19] Audience Member: If you ain't watching bats, get the fuck out of Largo.
[00:22:22] If you ain't the wildlife zoologist with the Special League Kira pr. Get the fuck out of Largo.
[00:22:27] If you ain't waste deep in guano. Get the fuck out of Largo.
[00:22:32] Bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats. Everybody!
[00:22:38] Jason Mantzoukas: Everybody!
[00:22:45] Paul Scheer: Everybody.
[00:22:47] Audience Member: Second opinions on the rocks. Send. I'm ready for some
[00:22:51] BATS!
[00:22:51] Amazon, every time I'm watching
[00:22:53] BATS!
[00:22:54] The reviews hit five stars every time I give them
[00:22:57] BATS.
[00:22:58] So cups in the air, everybody. Let's watch BATS!
[00:23:03] Paul Scheer: Yes! Give it up. Yes. Wow.
[00:23:07] Jason Mantzoukas: Please.
[00:23:07] Paul Scheer: Great job.
[00:23:08] Jason Mantzoukas: All slapping. Just escort them out.
[00:23:12] Paul Scheer: Oh my gosh.
[00:23:13] Jason Mantzoukas: Escort them out.
[00:23:14] June Diane Raphael: Escort them out.
[00:23:15] Jason Mantzoukas: Just you guys keep walking straight through the door.
[00:23:19] Paul Scheer: So there are 672.
[00:23:22] Jason Mantzoukas: I feel like the Bats version of Shots could chart.
[00:23:30] Paul Scheer: And the Howdie for best Second Opinion Song goes to Bats, Bats, Bats, Bats. Bats that is, uh, Mark and Connor's riff on LMFAO's Shots from episode 329 Bats.
[00:23:46] Jason Mantzoukas: That doesn't seem right.
[00:23:48] Paul Scheer: I mean.
[00:23:48] Jason Mantzoukas: Huh.
[00:23:49] Paul Scheer: Odd, but you know what? It did get the crowd, uh, pumped up.
[00:23:53] June Diane Raphael: Okay.
[00:23:53] Jason Mantzoukas: What I mean, sure. But I, I just, I feel like we can do better, you know?
[00:23:58] Paul Scheer: I mean, look, it's, it's, sometimes it's not about the quality, it's about the, it's the audience engagement and I don't want to judge anybody, uh, too harshly. Okay. Onto our next category, announcer, please.
[00:24:10] Scott Sonne: Best Paul Childhood Story and the nominees are 12-year-old Paul goes to a New York City strip club from episode 321, Milk Money.
[00:24:22] Paul Scheer: I did bring my friends into New York City one time. We went to Show World with fake IDs, and then.
[00:24:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Show World is a strip club.
[00:24:32] Paul Scheer: And I went there as a 12-year-old.
[00:24:36] June Diane Raphael: Paul.
[00:24:36] Paul Scheer: And.
[00:24:36] Jason Mantzoukas: You had a fake id?
[00:24:38] Paul Scheer: Well, you went to this store and you got an NYU ID and it said I was a college student, but I was only 12. And then you showed it to the people at Show World and they would let you in. I think they knew I wasn't in college, but they.
[00:24:48] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, you think? You think? I like that there's a little con there's, you're not quite sure.
[00:24:54] Casey Wilson: You're like, I was chewing on my bubble tape in my.
[00:24:56] Jason Mantzoukas: I think they knew I was 12.
[00:24:58] June Diane Raphael: I was selling some gob stoppers.
[00:24:59] Paul Scheer: And there was, there was a moment where I was walking around Show World as a 12-year-old and uh, this woman approached me and she said, do you wanna watch me take a shower? And I said, no.
[00:25:11] Jason Mantzoukas: Paul. Paul, this movie. Paul, this movie is your life's, did you, did you sign away life rights?
[00:25:19] Casey Wilson: Is that why you're mad? You didn't make a cut?
[00:25:22] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:25:23] Paul Scheer: Just feel like there could've gotten some better moments in there. And I remember that moment. 'cause I was like, I don't want, I don't want to watch you take a shower. So I'm gonna wait outside Show World and I hung outside Show World and talk to the bouncer for a long time. Oh, while my two other friends were doing whatever they were doing.
[00:25:39] Jason Mantzoukas: Watching someone take a shower. Probably.
[00:25:41] Paul Scheer: But before we got to Show World, this guy was like, you wanna like meet a. This is crazy. He's like, do you wanna meet a a, a a sex worker? And we'd be like, yeah. And he started to lead us down an alley. And at that point I was like.
[00:25:55] Jason Mantzoukas: It's your life.
[00:25:55] June Diane Raphael: This movie.
[00:25:57] Jason Mantzoukas: By the way. I just wanna go on record. We are two hours into the show.
[00:26:02] June Diane Raphael: Never heard of any.
[00:26:03] Jason Mantzoukas: And only now are you inadvertently admitting and realizing this is your life story on film.
[00:26:11] Paul Scheer: I did not put it all together. And as we and as we were walking down that alley, I said, this is bad, let's go. And then the guy said, where are you guys going? Where are you guys going? We're like, we're gonna get outta here. And I pulled my friends out and then we went to Show World.
[00:26:23] Scott Sonne: Yeah, the only difference is he didn't have a gun like this guy did.
[00:26:27] Paul Scheer: He might have. Uh, we didn't go down far enough down the alley.
[00:26:31] Scott Sonne: Paul's grandma threatens a butcher will grind him into meat from episode 232, Adventures of Pinocchio.
[00:26:39] Paul Scheer: My grandmother used to tell me this story when I was a kid that I needed to lock the door to my house because when she lived in Garden City, this is where my grandmother lived in New York. She's like, when I lived in Garden City, there was a little boy and he didn't lock his door. And one day he was in his bed.
[00:27:01] Jason Mantzoukas: I already know this is deeply irresponsible of her, of her to have said.
[00:27:07] Paul Scheer: And he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. And then he gotten really nervous and he got under his bed and he was under the sheets and the door opened, creek it out, and then the boy looked and it was the local butcher, and he got scared. And then all of a sudden the butcher grabbed him and the mom came home. The boy wasn't there. She brought home her chopped meat.
[00:27:35] June Diane Raphael: No, Paul, stop. Stop it right now.
[00:27:41] Jason Mantzoukas: What are you talking about?
[00:27:42] June Diane Raphael: Paul.
[00:27:42] Jason Mantzoukas: What?
[00:27:44] Paul Scheer: And the mother.
[00:27:45] Jason Mantzoukas: What are you talking about?
[00:27:47] Paul Scheer: And then as the mother was making hamburgers for her son, she started making hamburgers. That the hamburger meat said, mama.
[00:27:55] Jason Mantzoukas: No.
[00:27:56] Paul Scheer: Mama.
[00:27:58] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait.
[00:27:59] June Diane Raphael: Paul.
[00:28:00] Jason Mantzoukas: The chopped meat, the meat knew?
[00:28:03] Paul Scheer: Because the meat was the boy.
[00:28:05] Jason Mantzoukas: The meat. But the, but that again, that's No. Once it's turned into meat, the kid wouldn't know. At that point, it's just meat, you know? Oh, what?
[00:28:18] Unreal.
[00:28:19] June Diane Raphael: I am shaken on my inside.
[00:28:22] Scott Sonne: Paul tries to French kiss his mom. Ooh, from episode 217, Jaws 3D.
[00:28:30] Paul Scheer: Almost, I tried to French my mom after watching Love Boat.
[00:28:36] Jason Mantzoukas: What?
[00:28:37] June Diane Raphael: I've heard this story before.
[00:28:38] Jason Mantzoukas: What is happening right now? Is this for the podcast? Are we, are we putting this out into the world?
[00:28:44] Paul Scheer: As a little kid, I.
[00:28:45] Jason Mantzoukas: You, you try to make out, your words, with your mom.
[00:28:49] Paul Scheer: No, I said French.
[00:28:50] Jason Mantzoukas: French. French. Sorry. Sorry.
[00:28:51] June Diane Raphael: Um, I get it though. I mean, I do all.
[00:28:56] Jason Mantzoukas: Get it.
[00:28:56] June Diane Raphael: I get it because I, the to many other young.
[00:29:00] Paul Scheer: I wasn't like.
[00:29:01] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh my God.
[00:29:01] Paul Scheer: 12. I was like. Oh, I was like watching like the Love Boat all the time and they were always like open mouth kissing, so I just thought, oh, that, that I.
[00:29:08] June Diane Raphael: You kiss.
[00:29:09] Jason Mantzoukas: That must be the next level of kissing.
[00:29:11] Paul Scheer: Yeah, right.
[00:29:11] Jason Mantzoukas: I get, I can get that. And were Was she receptive?
[00:29:15] Paul Scheer: No.
[00:29:16] June Diane Raphael: Did she consent enthusiastically?
[00:29:20] Paul Scheer: Guys.
[00:29:20] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh God. Oh boy.
[00:29:23] Paul Scheer: I feel good to get it off my chest. I feel good.
[00:29:25] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh my God.
[00:29:26] June Diane Raphael: Oh man, these are all bangers.
[00:29:30] Jason Mantzoukas: This is just book promotion. Oh, I don't understand. This category is book promotion.
[00:29:36] Paul Scheer: Only one of these stories, and that was the thing that I heard from most people on my book tour. I thought that you would have more stories from the show in your book. And I honestly think only one or two stories that are in the book have been on the show. So, and uh, when people ask me why, I said I just forgot.
[00:29:55] Like, I wasn't thinking of, I wasn't trying to like check off boxes here. Anyway, I, I'm gonna give this award to somebody else, somebody who deserves it. I'm gonna, you know, we'll, yeah. You know, I'll, I will, I will not take this one. I'm gonna open this up this envelope and see. The Howdie for Best Paul Childhood Story goes to, oh.
[00:30:14] Paul tries to French kiss his mom, from Jaws 3D.
[00:30:18] Jason Mantzoukas: Interesting.
[00:30:18] Paul Scheer: I I, I gotta tell you. Yeah. I've been trying to get rid of this story. I've been trying to push this one out.
[00:30:24] Jason Mantzoukas: This is a tough one.
[00:30:24] Paul Scheer: This is, you know, and I, I put a picture of this.
[00:30:26] Jason Mantzoukas: It's been referenced multiple times as well.
[00:30:28] Paul Scheer: I, I put a picture up on my website of me kissing my mom on the lips just to, uh, to satiate the pervos out there.
[00:30:39] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait.
[00:30:39] Paul Scheer: That need to see it.
[00:30:40] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait, what are you, wait a minute. What? You gave them, like you gave them material to back it up?
[00:30:48] Paul Scheer: Scott, can you pull up my, uh, website, PaulScheer.com and just go to the book section? Yeah, I'll show you. I'll show you. Because I was done with it. Uh, just go. Yeah. Then scroll down here. There it is right there.
[00:30:59] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh my God, that's so funny. Oh, that's so funny.
[00:31:05] Paul Scheer: Now it looks like, you know, it looks like my mom is, is.
[00:31:08] Jason Mantzoukas: Yes.
[00:31:08] Paul Scheer: You know, so.
[00:31:09] Jason Mantzoukas: This looks very passionate.
[00:31:14] Paul Scheer: So, yeah, I, I've been trying to live down this story, but here's.
[00:31:16] June Diane Raphael: I love that the website is PaulScheer.com/pervert.
[00:31:20] Paul Scheer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's how you get to this.
[00:31:23] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, man.
[00:31:23] Paul Scheer: Because I know that all you pervs out there. Here's what I wanna say. Um, I am giving this award to everyone who has approached me in silence and whispered in my ear. I did the same thing. I did the same thing. So to them, I see you.
[00:31:40] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh wait. Are they saying that they also tried to French kiss their mom? Or are people just coming up and whispering in your ear? I did the same thing. I did the same thing.
[00:31:48] Paul Scheer: Well, it's more the second.
[00:31:49] Jason Mantzoukas: Whatcha talking about?
[00:31:50] Paul Scheer: It's, it's more the second, but I assume it's in reference to that. I haven't really clarified. But yeah, I just wanna give it to all the people out there who see me.
[00:31:57] Jason Mantzoukas: Wow.
[00:31:58] Paul Scheer: And also have had the courage to admit that they have French kissed their mom.
[00:32:02] Jason Mantzoukas: Jesus.
[00:32:05] Scott Sonne: Don't go anywhere, folks, 'cause it's almost time for the biggest and final Howdie of the night. Best Guest. Ooh, baby. Who could it be?
[00:32:14] Stay tuned.
[00:32:23] Paul Scheer: Uh, alright. And now for our final and most prestigious category of the night.
[00:32:29] Scott Sonne: Best Guest Appearance. And the nominees are Nicole Byer and Adam Scott from episode 196, The Meg.
[00:32:39] Adam Scott: But he, he gets there not understanding anything and has to be introduced to everything that's happening there.
[00:32:46] Paul Scheer: Right.
[00:32:46] Nicole Byer: But he's got very cool sneakers.
[00:32:49] Adam Scott: Oh yeah.
[00:32:49] Nicole Byer: Also, I loved that all of the secondary characters were stereotypes. Like the black guy couldn't swim.
[00:32:56] Adam Scott: I know.
[00:32:56] Nicole Byer: And I was like.
[00:32:57] Adam Scott: I know.
[00:32:57] Jason Mantzoukas: That was wild.
[00:32:59] Adam Scott: That was crazy.
[00:33:00] Nicole Byer: It blew my mind.
[00:33:01] Adam Scott: They acknowledged how racist it was and then just kept doing it.
[00:33:05] Nicole Byer: Yes.
[00:33:06] Jason Mantzoukas: Yes.
[00:33:07] Nicole Byer: Yeah, because there was a line because I'm black, but then later was like, I can't swim.
[00:33:11] Adam Scott: Yeah.
[00:33:11] Nicole Byer: Oh, masta pull me out. It was so wild.
[00:33:15] Adam Scott: It was crazy.
[00:33:16] Jason Mantzoukas: Except in this case, the masta is a tiny Asian girl.
[00:33:20] Adam Scott: Who's like, shut the fuck up.
[00:33:23] Scott Sonne: Jessica St. Clair from episode 204, Holiday in Handcuffs.
[00:33:30] Jessica St. Clair: Yeah. 'cause he is fucking hairless and built as shit.
[00:33:32] Paul Scheer: By the way, that is a rule in these shows.
[00:33:34] Jason Mantzoukas: Is that your type?
[00:33:35] Jessica St. Clair: Yes. I think it's why in high school.
[00:33:38] Jason Mantzoukas: Hairless and jacked.
[00:33:39] Jessica St. Clair: Hairless. There's not a hair on his body. And I don't think he's waxing.
[00:33:43] Paul Scheer: Oh, I think he's waxing.
[00:33:44] June Diane Raphael: Me, Jessica, that is.
[00:33:45] Jason Mantzoukas: Have you lost your mind?
[00:33:47] June Diane Raphael: That is unappealing.
[00:33:50] Paul Scheer: You want like a Ken doll physique.
[00:33:52] June Diane Raphael: I don't wanna know this.
[00:33:54] Jessica St. Clair: My first sexual urge was for Ponch.
[00:33:58] Paul Scheer: Okay. From.
[00:33:59] Jessica St. Clair: From Chips.
[00:34:00] Paul Scheer: Chips, yeah.
[00:34:00] Jessica St. Clair: And Mario is delivering me Ponch, like prime Ponch.
[00:34:04] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh God. Please stop saying Ponch.
[00:34:07] Paul Scheer: Prime Ponch.
[00:34:08] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, prime Ponch. Oh God.
[00:34:11] Paul Scheer: I do feel like his shirtless scene though was a real beefcake moment.
[00:34:16] Jason Mantzoukas: That's probably a T-shirt.
[00:34:17] Paul Scheer: Prime Ponch.
[00:34:18] Jason Mantzoukas: Prime Ponch.
[00:34:19] Paul Scheer: Prime Ponch. Oh, prime Ponch doesn't sound like what it.
[00:34:23] Jason Mantzoukas: Well, it just like dripping letters. Prime Ponch.
[00:34:26] June Diane Raphael: I noticed it. Mario Lopez is a beautiful man.
[00:34:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Very handsome.
[00:34:30] Paul Scheer: Very handsome.
[00:34:30] Jason Mantzoukas: Undeniable.
[00:34:31] Jessica St. Clair: No. And you know, there's nothing worse, I would argue.
[00:34:36] June Diane Raphael: Than a little hair.
[00:34:36] Jessica St. Clair: It's snuggling up to a man that has stubble. Little hairy. Yeah, exactly. I don't wanna feel like you've groomed more than I have before a date.
[00:34:44] June Diane Raphael: But that's what's why I'm, I'm so fascinated that you like a hairless man because.
[00:34:48] Jessica St. Clair: I, as I said, I want no hair or all the hair in the world.
[00:34:53] Paul Scheer: Wow.
[00:34:55] June Diane Raphael: Jessica.
[00:34:57] Scott Sonne: Charlize Theron and Seth Rogan from episode 212, Hello, Mary Lou Prom Night 2.
[00:35:04] Charlize Theron: This scene in the bathroom.
[00:35:06] Seth Rogen: Yeah.
[00:35:07] Paul Scheer: Ugh. Heartbreaking.
[00:35:07] Charlize Theron: I wanted to heart give her my academy awards.
[00:35:10] Seth Rogen: It was amazing. Yeah. Do it. Do it.
[00:35:14] Charlize Theron: I'm actually not made funny. I very fairly looked at it and said, this is really good work.
[00:35:22] Seth Rogen: It was good.
[00:35:22] Charlize Theron: This is really, I'm not, I'm. Act like it is a good fucking moment.
[00:35:27] Jason Mantzoukas: Yes. Yes.
[00:35:28] Seth Rogen: It was a beautiful, it was a one, it was a beautiful shot that slowly crept in.
[00:35:31] Paul Scheer: Oh yeah.
[00:35:32] Seth Rogen: And that like it. And then when that lady dies, it was crazy because they almost cut her head off with this fucking thing.
[00:35:38] Jason Mantzoukas: This is the craziest.
[00:35:40] Seth Rogen: And then they don't, and they, they.
[00:35:42] Jason Mantzoukas: Not only that, it looks like they're gonna chop her head off with a paper cutter.
[00:35:46] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:35:46] Jason Mantzoukas: Right. They don't. The cloak goes up and hangs her, then throws her out the window. What are you talking about? You just succeeded in strangling her with a cloak, why throw her out the window?
[00:36:01] Charlize Theron: No. The best part then is the next cut is them talking about how she killed herself.
[00:36:07] Seth Rogen: Killed herself.
[00:36:07] Jason Mantzoukas: How?
[00:36:08] Charlize Theron: She hung herself, then threw herself. Outta a window?
[00:36:12] Scott Sonne: Ike Barinholtz from episode 205, Cellular.
[00:36:16] Paul Scheer: So he's an LA police officer.
[00:36:19] Ike Barinholtz: It's one line. It's one line. When I moved here from England when I was 18, I didn't like it, but now I love it 'cause I'm a cop. Yeah. Instead it's like, sorry I'm late. I was on the 405. I got off at Centinella and I, I, I, I, there was, there was a.
[00:36:33] Jason Mantzoukas: I grew up in Chatsworth mate.
[00:36:35] Erin Gibson: Was he trying to hide it?
[00:36:37] Ike Barinholtz: He was trying to hide it, but he can't.
[00:36:40] Paul Scheer: There was a line that I really liked, and I don't remember the full line, but like Jason Statham gives like Kim Bessinger a couple choices and A was shut up.
[00:36:50] Ike Barinholtz: Shut up. Keep your mouth shut. Just like Fernando Venezuela, after he left the Dodgers and gave a shitty interview to Bill Platy in the LA Times, which I fucking subscribe to.
[00:37:02] Jason Mantzoukas: Which I read every week just for Jonathan Gold's review. He's a San Gabriel Valley Chinese restaurant.
[00:37:09] Ike Barinholtz: He's a regional treasure, isn't he?
[00:37:13] Paul Scheer: Dim sum is my favorite thing. Um, there was a thing.
[00:37:16] Jason Mantzoukas: I'm going for a hike in Griffith Park, I am.
[00:37:18] Ike Barinholtz: Going to Chain Two Palace afterwards. You're gonna love it. They got fucking lobsters right in the tank.
[00:37:26] Paul Scheer: Did you guys wonder like, what, what was gonna?
[00:37:30] Jason Mantzoukas: I love Jason's Statham, angelino.
[00:37:34] Scott Sonne: Casey Wilson from episode 219,Drop Dead Fred.
[00:37:39] Jason Mantzoukas: I liked that this movie is about this little girl, um, not being able to experience loss and grief and all the traumas of childhood and what she feels about her mother.
[00:37:49] Casey Wilson: I thought her mom was nice.
[00:37:51] Paul Scheer: Me too. Me too.
[00:37:59] Jason Mantzoukas: I'm dead.
[00:37:59] Paul Scheer: Finally,
[00:38:01] Jason Mantzoukas: I'm done.
[00:38:01] Paul Scheer: Finally.
[00:38:01] Casey Wilson: Loved her, loved her.
[00:38:02] Jason Mantzoukas: I'm dead.
[00:38:03] Casey Wilson: What I would've given for that mother.
[00:38:05] Jason Mantzoukas: What? Wait, what?
[00:38:08] Paul Scheer: The mom was nice.
[00:38:10] Jason Mantzoukas: What are you talking about?
[00:38:10] Casey Wilson: Was nice.
[00:38:11] June Diane Raphael: Casey, you're my friend.
[00:38:13] Jason Mantzoukas: Are you insane? The mom is a sociopath.
[00:38:17] Paul Scheer: What?
[00:38:18] Jason Mantzoukas: The mother, the mother blames the daughter.
[00:38:21] Paul Scheer: At, at the end.
[00:38:26] June Diane Raphael: You wanna talk about abuse? Let's talk about mom.
[00:38:28] Casey Wilson: The mother had been pushed.
[00:38:30] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh god. What?
[00:38:31] Scott Sonne: James Projector Acaster from episode 359. Dream a Little Dream.
[00:38:38] Paul Scheer: Oh, sorry. The projector moved down and we'll fix that in one second. Hold.
[00:38:41] James "Projector" Acaster: Tim has told me to sort the projector.
[00:38:43] Jason Mantzoukas: Wow. Wow.
[00:38:44] June Diane Raphael: I'll fix it.
[00:38:45] Jason Mantzoukas: Tim.
[00:38:45] James "Projector" Acaster: He said James, projector.
[00:38:47] Jason Mantzoukas: James, projector.
[00:38:49] James "Projector" Acaster: I just, I just said that I regret it for the first time.
[00:38:52] Paul Scheer: That's good. We got it.
[00:38:53] Guest: James projector?
[00:38:53] Jason Mantzoukas: Wow.
[00:38:54] Guest: You fucking out of your mind? I'm not sorting the, I'm the, I'm the guest. None of this is my responsibility.
[00:39:00] Paul Scheer: James, projector.
[00:39:01] James "Projector" Acaster: None of this is on me. I could shit my pants and walk off and I've done a great job. Fucking.
[00:39:09] Jason Mantzoukas: Just so you know. Just so you know, when this, when this episode gets released, you'll be credited as James Projector.
[00:39:17] James "Projector" Acaster: James Projector. Holy Christ.
[00:39:21] Jason Mantzoukas: Tim. Tim's getting too big for his britches.
[00:39:24] June Diane Raphael: Tim.
[00:39:25] Paul Scheer: Okay.
[00:39:26] James "Projector" Acaster: Tim.
[00:39:28] June Diane Raphael: God, to not even make a full sentence out of it.
[00:39:30] James "Projector" Acaster: Yeah, you put me in a bad mood for the trailer now, tim. I might be unnecessarily harsh.
[00:39:35] Paul Scheer: Respect our guest, Tim. Respect our guest.
[00:39:37] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, Tim is in a full body sweat.
[00:39:40] June Diane Raphael: That was funny.
[00:39:41] James "Projector" Acaster: I do. Just put the projector backing your goddamn eyes and you can watch the trailer that way, Tim. How's that? Everyone can stand behind you and watch your projector on the back of your fucking head.
[00:39:54] James Projector. You fucking high.
[00:39:59] The whole week in this goddamn city. Everyone talking to me like a piece of shit, I don't need it from you as well.
[00:40:09] Paul Scheer: Wow.
[00:40:10] Jason Mantzoukas: Incredible list.
[00:40:12] June Diane Raphael: This is such a difficult category, I feel like, of all of them. This, this is the one where I'm like, it could go any way.
[00:40:19] Jason Mantzoukas: Yeah. These are all banger guests on banger episodes.
[00:40:24] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:40:24] Jason Mantzoukas: This is. These are, I, I mean many of these, I remember the Ike episode is famous for the Jason Statham Angelino bit.
[00:40:33] Paul Scheer: Now, I do wanna say, I wanna give a shout out to, uh, our, my friend Sean at Trek Bikes because I was, uh, recently purchasing a bike at Trek and Sean.
[00:40:42] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's happening right now?
[00:40:45] Paul Scheer: Well, my friend Sean.
[00:40:46] Are we doing an in Howdie episode ad for Trek?
[00:40:50] Paul Scheer: Well, by the way.
[00:40:51] June Diane Raphael: I think I, what I'm realizing is like they, I knew we must have had some giant sponsor making these Howdies or like underwriting them because they're so big. Are they made out of gold?
[00:41:04] Paul Scheer: They are made out of solid gold.
[00:41:07] Jason Mantzoukas: Okay.
[00:41:07] Paul Scheer: And they're heavy.
[00:41:07] Jason Mantzoukas: And is Trek manufacturing them because, that makes sense as to why there are bicycle chains as part of the decorative feature.
[00:41:14] June Diane Raphael: Couldn't understand that.
[00:41:15] Paul Scheer: Yeah. And there, and then obviously, you know, the best audience award that, that's more of a, a mountain biking award and we have that. Uh, but it was so funny because I was, I was at the Trek bike store chatting with, uh, this gentleman Sean, and um, he said to me, he goes, I quote Jason Statham Angelino. At least once a week.
[00:41:37] Jason Mantzoukas: Wow.
[00:41:37] Paul Scheer: And I was like this, I said this, you've made my day. I, I, I just love that. That is like, a bit like that. I love a deep dive bit.
[00:41:46] Jason Mantzoukas: That's also a bit, that's a funny bit that anyone can do.
[00:41:49] Paul Scheer: Yes.
[00:41:49] Jason Mantzoukas: Because all you need to do is a barely passable Statham. And then just LA specifics.
[00:41:56] Paul Scheer: It's really, really great. I, I, I, I. I love it so much. Um, I do wanna say that I love all of our guests. They are absolutely fantastic. And, uh, you know, whoever wins this award, it, it you are all winners.
[00:42:10] They're all winners.
[00:42:11] Jason Mantzoukas: I love that. This our final award. Finally, um, there is some international input. We have James Acaster here.
[00:42:19] Paul Scheer: Yes.
[00:42:20] Jason Mantzoukas: So we have a nominee from outside of the United States, which I think is fantastic.
[00:42:24] Paul Scheer: Jason, Charlize is not.
[00:42:26] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, Charlize as well.
[00:42:27] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:42:27] Jason Mantzoukas: Uh, forgive me, you're absolutely right.
[00:42:29] Paul Scheer: Adam Scott, uh, resident of Norway, I believe I, but he's not talking about that.
[00:42:35] Jason Mantzoukas: Uh, yeah. No, I mean, he, we, he will be when he, um, when he runs for, uh, prime Minister.
[00:42:43] Paul Scheer: Um, alright everybody, let's see. The Howdie for best guest appearance goes to Jessica St. Clair. Jess, obviously, uh, you know, if there was a fourth member of the show it would be Jess. She's been on the show more times than, uh, than not. Uh, and, uh, you know. I think that tonight would only be fair to give Jess the microphone. I mean,
[00:43:05] Jason Mantzoukas: Ooh, hang on.
[00:43:06] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:43:06] Jason Mantzoukas: If, if she's gonna come on, then I'm just gonna tell everybody in the audience to turn your volume down.
[00:43:13] Jessica St. Clair: How Did This Get Made, it's Jessica, thank you so much for this award.
[00:43:18] It means so much to me. I have to tell you, me being on stage with you guys cheering in the audience and dressing up like maniacs and screaming at Jason is one of the highlights of my life. There is no better fan than a How Did This Get Made fan and listen, have I had to spend, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars in therapy to erase some of the memories that I've made while watching these horrific films?
[00:43:53] Yes, but every dollar has been worth it because I've got to spend it with you guys and I can't wait to watch some more trash can fires and women who wanna fuck their own dogs and you know, who knows? It's exciting. But thank you so much. I love you.
[00:44:12] Paul Scheer: All right. Jess, the best. The absolute best.
[00:44:17] June Diane Raphael: She deserves it.
[00:44:18] Paul Scheer: Uh, she deserves.
[00:44:18] June Diane Raphael: Again, again, it could've gone any way, but I'm happy.
[00:44:20] Jason Mantzoukas: I will say she's done so much incredible work, uh, uh, on the front lines of this show. Uh, that being said, uh, it can't be understated that Casey Wilson had physical injury, uh, done to her vocal cords after the Drop Dead Fred episode. And I think that should be acknowledged because she really put her body, her health, her wellbeing, and her body on the line.
[00:44:48] June Diane Raphael: Yeah.
[00:44:48] Jason Mantzoukas: To fight for a absolute fraudulent point of view.
[00:44:52] Paul Scheer: Okay, but hold on, Jason, here's the thing. Casey was unavailable to make a video, so that's why.
[00:44:58] June Diane Raphael: I've actually been quite scared that we're gonna get a bill from Casey's, like vocal node surgeries.
[00:45:04] Paul Scheer: Uh, she can't prove it. Now, uh, let me tell you this, everybody what a show. By the way, I'll just take this Jessica one just to get outta the way.
[00:45:12] Jason Mantzoukas: This is ridic. I just wanna say this is ridiculous. Then I'm going home empty handed once again? It's fine. I don't know why I expected it to be different. I. Shame on me.
[00:45:21] June Diane Raphael: Can I say something though? There's a lot of actors like we look at who have never won any Oscars and stuff, and it's like, in some ways they're even more intriguing to us.
[00:45:31] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:45:32] Jason Mantzoukas: Interesting. Interesting.
[00:45:32] June Diane Raphael: You know, in some way, like in some ways we value their work a little bit more.
[00:45:36] Jason Mantzoukas: So I'm like a Susan Lucci. I'm a Susan.
[00:45:39] Paul Scheer: Well, Susan actually did win.
[00:45:40] Jason Mantzoukas: Eventually.
[00:45:40] June Diane Raphael: She eventually won.
[00:45:43] Paul Scheer: Yeah. I would say you're more like a Tom Cruise.
[00:45:46] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh wow. Okay.
[00:45:47] Paul Scheer: You know, you're putting your life out there.
[00:45:49] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, I'm, I'm like, I'm, yes. I'm putting myself on the line every show. Every show I do is a stunt.
[00:45:55] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:45:57] Jason Mantzoukas: Is a life endangering stunt.
[00:45:59] June Diane Raphael: Yeah. But it's like, you know, it's kind of cool. Like, just try, try to reframe it that way.
[00:46:04] Paul Scheer: Well, you know, and, and, and I'll take this June, sadly, I don't, I don't think you walked well, I guess I'll, I'll share an award with you tonight. Um, and, you know, there's so many people to thank our producers, Scott Sonne, Molly Reynolds. Our audience.
[00:46:17] June Diane Raphael: Wait a second.
[00:46:18] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:46:18] June Diane Raphael: So I did take a Howdie before for my June, you know, savage just like did. You took it back.
[00:46:24] Paul Scheer: Because, well, I well you, yeah. Well we're sharing it, right? I thought we agreed to share it.
[00:46:27] June Diane Raphael: Yeah, but did, when did you come down here to my office in the middle of this record?
[00:46:31] Paul Scheer: I'm holding. I'm holding onto it. I'm holding onto it. Don't. Just 'cause you don't, I don't want you to lose it.
[00:46:35] Jason Mantzoukas: This is infuriating.
[00:46:37] June Diane Raphael: God.
[00:46:38] Paul Scheer: Thank you to our. Yes? What? Yes.
[00:46:40] Jason Mantzoukas: What? No, no. Go ahead. Please do the outro. Please do the outro.
[00:46:43] Paul Scheer: Yes. Yeah. I'm so sorry that you both weren't able to walk away with any awards. Uh, like I said, uh, thank you from.
[00:46:47] June Diane Raphael: I had one.
[00:46:48] Paul Scheer: Uh, the bottom of Morgan's heart. Uh, thank you. From the bottom of Jess' heart. I'm gonna take both of theirs and we'll make sure that we get them to them before the next Howdies.
[00:46:56] June Diane Raphael: I'll see jessica tomorrow.
[00:46:57] Paul Scheer: No.
[00:46:57] June Diane Raphael: I can give her that one.
[00:46:58] Paul Scheer: No. No.
[00:47:00] Jason Mantzoukas: God dammit.
[00:47:01] Paul Scheer: Alright. Thank you to our producers, Scott Sonne, Molly Reynolds, our audio engineer, Casey Holford, our intern Quinn Jennings, who helped us pull a lot of these clips. And our social media manager, Zoe Applebaum, we owe.
[00:47:12] June Diane Raphael: How nice would it be to give one of them a Howdie?
[00:47:14] Paul Scheer: They all deserve.
[00:47:15] Jason Mantzoukas: Right?
[00:47:15] Paul Scheer: They all deserve a Howdie. They all, you know what I, why don't I give them your Howdie, June? I'm gonna give June's Howdie. That's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Uh, you take June's, Howdie.
[00:47:24] You all share it amongst yourselves. Um, I, I wanna say, and we've talked.
[00:47:29] Jason Mantzoukas: Wait, Paul, did you already have that chain made? The one that you've.
[00:47:33] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:47:33] Jason Mantzoukas: This one clipped into a Howdie that you wear around your neck?
[00:47:36] Paul Scheer: Yeah. Yeah. I, I had it made just in case. Just in case.
[00:47:40] Jason Mantzoukas: Wow. Okay.
[00:47:41] June Diane Raphael: And they're so big too.
[00:47:42] Paul Scheer: It's, you know, look, what a gift to give, uh, you know, me these awards. I thank you both. Uh, you know, uh, I do wanna say, as we look back on these, these years that we have done this show, and it's been a long time, we do owe a lot of these classic moments, uh, that you've heard in this episode to Avaryl Halley. Who will forever be a part of this show's DNA and her selections of these films that got us to these places. Uh, we are, you know, always, uh, keeping her in our thoughts and minds anyway.
[00:48:12] Jason Mantzoukas: Oh, I think it's, it, it can't be overstated that I think without, Avaryl's help, we would not still be doing.
[00:48:20] Paul Scheer: Yeah.
[00:48:20] A third annual Howdie, 15 years in.
[00:48:23] June Diane Raphael: Absolutely.
[00:48:23] Paul Scheer: I believe that many a time. I tried to get Avaryl on board to help find some of these clips, and, and she politely and, and rightly said, no.
[00:48:32] Jason Mantzoukas: Incredible. Yeah.
[00:48:33] Paul Scheer: The best decision she's ever made.
[00:48:36] June Diane Raphael: That's really her legacy.
[00:48:38] Jason Mantzoukas: She was an essential part of the DNA of this show, like you said, Paul, and will be forever missed.
[00:48:43] Paul Scheer: Um, well, uh, we love you Avaryl, and we love all of you listeners for making this show worth doing for the last 15 years and counting.
[00:48:51] And you know what, uh, because of you all, we will not wait another, uh, nine years between Howdies. Uh, that is a wrap on this year's Howdies, but you know what? I'm sure we missed a few things and we'll give you your chance to tell us what we missed next week on Last Looks. As we also revisit another film that we haven't had a chance to hear your thoughts on, and that is My Secret Santa.
[00:49:13] So get your Corrections and Omissions in for both of these episodes next week and bye for now.
[00:49:20] Scott Sonne: This concludes the Third Annual How Did This Get Made Howdie Awards. Remember to see the photo of Young Paul kissing his mom. Just go to PaulScheer.com/pervert. Again, that's PaulScheer.com/pervert. Thanks for listening, you jerks.